Insomnia

Jesus christ. It is about... 4:34 AM and I'm still awake. Well my asophogus(the hole that connects your lung to your throat) or whatever/how ever you spell it, feels really dry. Making it hard for me to breathe. Jeez, well I guess I'm going to try and sleep.

my dad.

My cousin Bao came over to visit me and catch up on some things. Haven't really talked to him in about a couple of months but seems like the same Bao to me. We were talking about WoW until some how he brought up the subject of my Dad. He ask me why I don't like him. Thought about about it in a couple of seconds and gave him a one word description. A bitch. He ask me why and I just replied saying he treats me like a dog, talks to me like I'm shit, and talking shit behind my back. I included that I don't plan on getting closer with him and that I honestly wouldn't care about him when I'm 30,40, or maybe even when I'm dead; I still would not care about him. You can say I'm going through a teen phase but I highly doubt it since I was thinking about this since third grade. And I already know he has good intention but the way he expresses is not healthy for the parent and for the child.

Bao didn't know what to say. He waited a couple of minutes and said, "He's your dad, he can do what ever he wants. You still have to listen to him because you're living under his roof." My cousin has a good point about me living under his roof. But even then you don't treat me like shit. It's like owning a dog and feeding him. But you don't treat him well nor do you take care of it other then letting it live here and eat off of you. Eventually the dog will not be loyal and run away to a better enviroment. Same analogy applies here. I'm almost 18, currently looking for a stable job, saving money, and I know my priority. I'll continue this some other time. Getting pissed off for no god damn reason.

.

"Leon, why are you always stiff?"
"Leon, why are you always tired?"
"Leon, why d0 you look mean?"
"Leon, you're not a very social person."
"Leon, why do you do things if you say you don't know?"

Common questions people ask me from a daily basis. The typical response to all these question would be, " I don't know." But since, I need to take a break from all the Walia essays I guess I'll answer these questions truthfully.

"Leon, why are you always stiff?"

Ever thought maybe it's just the way I am? I honestly can't tell if I'm walking, talking, or moving stiff. If you havea problem with it then please, please help me with my posture then. Because I can care less if I'm stiff or not.

"Leon, why are you always tired?"

Damn, If I look or act tired then it's just because I don't sleep enough. It's not that I deprive myself of sleep, it's the fact that I have insomnia =/ sucks, I know.

"Leon, why d0 you look mean?"

Well... I can't really change my facial features, but if I look mean then too bad for you. lol

"Leon, you're not a very social person."

I don't think small talk is necessary. From time to time I find small-talk okay, but usually I don't like to interact myself with others. As chieme says, "Leon, is a solitary person. Leave him alone."

"Leon, why do you do things if you say you don't know?"

Probably because I don't want to talk to you. Or maybe because I just don't want to give you a reason. The things I do is just really for me. Usually my reasons to do things are pretty stupid, but I still do them anyways.

Japanese

Oh my god. I need help to pass the class. If I don't pass this class, I basically have to graduate in the summer with all the other fuck ups. D: I can not resort to this. Kevin... do you think if I beg and turn in work/ do the final, do you think she would pass me? God damnit why am I doing this shit last minute.

aboutme.lol

I usually don't write these kind of things because in my opinion, talking about yourself is just a waste of time. But since sleeping isn't an option tonight...then I guess I'm going to write about myself. =/

Leon Pham. Probably the only Leon Pham you will know in your life(seriously). I'm the typical teenager that likes to chill and what not. Playing games, reading forums, hanging out with friends and the girlfriend, and probably doing atrocious things that make me feel like I'm Jesus Christ, the Savior. If I had to pick a word to describe me it would most likely be the word "passive or pacifist." I don't like to bother or disrupt anyone or anything. I'm the type of person that would leave things as it is. Change is redundant to me if it is fine the way it is. But of course, change is also good if you want it to be. Blogging isn't really the type of thing I would do normally, but I wish I could make it into a hobby.

If I had to pick a social group to be in at school, I would probably pick none. Unless you call "the loner" as a group then I guess I would pick that clique. I don't fit in with anyone, but I do have great friends. Though I am totally different from each of them, I feel like I have a connection to all of them. It's kind of "gay-ish" of me to say this... but sadly, it's true. Opposites do attract.

I'll probably write more next time. Fuck... I kind of wished I have more topics to write about.

Sorry -.-

I didn't want to post a blog saying "sorry, it's for your own good." But It is for your own good. Putting things aside though, I'm sorry for being a sac riding parent. I just wanted to make sure you didn't get to in all over yourself and what not thinking nothing will happen to you even while you're sober. Even though you're a good driver, you can meet bad drivers out there that can harm you. And if they crash into you, that's game over for you. You know? Now quit being a douche-nozzle and call me. Getting lonely -.-

I basically had to hike up a hill today to get away from all my problems today so I can sit back and ponder on the things I have done in the past couple of months.

Beginning to end.

Things to do before summer ends:

• Save money and buy a laptop.
• Run more often and build more muscles.
• Find a more "permanent" job.
• Spend more quality time with the girlfriends family.
• Hang out with some old friends.
• Blog more -.-
• Stop doing drugs... never going to quit drinking though.
• Lose this beer belly.
• add more to this list when I think of more goals.

Since summer officially starts somewhere during June. I guess I'll start doing my goals on June 1st. Wish me luck :D!

New Start

Well I've decided to switch over to blogger about 20 minutes ago. All my friends knew my tumblr blog page so I've also decided that this page will be only viewed by a certain amount of friends. Gosh I need a topic to write about...